The Phoenix
by theboardwalkbody
Summary: Rick isn't the only one who sees ghosts and this wouldn't be the first time Daryl's needed his big brother to get him back on track. (Post 03x15.)


Daryl sat in the cafeteria of the prison staring at the dusty, dirty clock on the wall. He was angry that the seconds ticked by into minutes and minutes to hours instead of standing still. Every tick of the clock went against the feeling that time had stopped when he saw his brother at the warehouse. No, not his brother, his brother wouldn't have become that thing, couldn't have. But time hadn't stopped, it kept on ticking, and every tick could be the last because the war was coming. For all he knew it could start with the very next tick. He knew he should be with the rest of the group, knew he should be out guarding the prison, but he couldn't. He needed to be alone, needed to think, needed to rip that damned clock off the wall.

He jumped up off the table he had been sitting on, grabbed the end of it, and charged at the wall. He slammed the table against the wall, jumped on top of it, and began his attempt at ripping the clock from the concrete wall. His muscles strained as he lashed out at it and pulled with all his might. It was as if the clock existed to mock him, instead of breaking lose of the wall it just kept on ticking away the time. Counting down the moments to the war, adding to the length of time Merle had been gone.

"Now, now, baby brother, you ain't gonna get nothin' done that way."

Daryl collapsed at the sound of his brothers voice. His knees simply gave out and he fell, hard, on to the table top, smacking his head against the wall on his way down. His vision blurred for a moment, and when they regained focus he was staring at his brother. He was standing only a few feet away from him, grinning, amused that he had scared his brother to the point his knees had given out. He stood there, grinning, and looking like he had back before any of this apocalypse shit went down. Two hands, no bullet hole through his chest, no yellowed and animalistic eyes. It was just Merle, just his big brother.

"You're not there." Daryl said, his voice was hoarse and he chocked on the words as he tried not to cry.

"Not really, no." Merle agreed. "But you need me to be, so I am."

"That makes no sense." Daryl said as he got off the table and stood up.

"Sure it does, baby brother." Merle told him. "This wouldn't be the first time neither. You needed me to help get your ass out of that ravine. So I did. Now you need me to help you get your ass back into gear, so I will."

Daryl remembered that day that seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a day he still had hope, still could hope to find Carol's little girl, still could hope that he would one day find his brother. But that was a different life, he had no hope left. The girl was dead. He'd seen her die. His brother was dead. He'd put him down. Daryl began to cry.

"Get the hell out of here, man." He turned away from the vision of his brother.

"Don't think so. I'm here to get you ready for a war. Time is running out." Merle told him.

Daryl looked up at the clock again. His anger surged up inside of him and he turned to lash out at the hallucination of his brother, but when he turned to face him he wasn't there anymore.

Daryl scoffed. "See, not there. As usual."

"I'm always behind, ya, baby brother." came Merle's voice from behind him. He was sitting on the table Daryl had gotten off of only moments ago.

"No! You never were!" Daryl cried out. "You left! Every time I needed you, you left! You left home! Left me with Dad! You left the prison! What the hell were you doing anyway!?"

Merle didn't answer. He couldn't. The Merle before Daryl was only a vision based on what Daryl knew of him. Therefore the vision couldn't explain to him that he left to try and kill the Governor, couldn't explain that he left to save his brother and the family he found himself.

"Never mind, man." Daryl said softly. "Just go."

"Listen here, boy." Merle stood. "I get it. I left you. You think I don't know that? I don't know why I do the shit I do. Nothing I do makes sense to me. I just do it because it seems like the thing to do at the time. I'm making up for my shit now. If you think I'm just gonna go, if you think I'm gonna let you mope around this prison and let you get your ass and everyone else's killed by that bastard who's gunning for all of you then you're the biggest idiot I've ever met."

"If you hadn't left you would have been able to help us." Daryl started crying again.

"But I'm not! So listen to me, brother. You've got a war to fight! You've got your new family to protect. They ain't your blood, they ain't me, but I get it. You need them. They need you, and if you let them die because you're too busy being crying like a baby about me then you'll ruin everything." Merle yelled at him.

Daryl wiped his face on his sleeve and glanced up at the clock, it's ticking sounded even louder in the silence that followed Merle's speech than it had at any point yet. He was certain now it existed only to mock him.

"Misery don't look good on you, baby brother." Merle said. "It's time to grow a pair and do what needs to be done. Fight this war. _Win_ this war. I want you to find that bastard, I want you to look him in the face and I want you to kill him. For me."

Daryl looked up at his brother. He was right. He couldn't sit in the cafeteria trying to claw clocks off the wall forever. The war was coming any minute now. He had a family to protect. He had to avenge his brother. There was no way he was about to let the Governor walk away from this alive. He would rip him apart.

"I miss you." Daryl said. There was no sadness in his voice anymore, just the sincerity.

"I did this because I wanted you to be happy." Merle said. "Because you're my brother."

Daryl didn't know what he meant by that, all he knew was that he needed to hear it.

Merle laughed lightly. "Look at that, I'm dead and still getting your ass into gear."

"Shut up." Daryl smiled a little. It was a bit silly. That he was standing in a prison talking to a hallucination of his brother. That for the second time he needed the help of a man who wasn't there to save his ass. He looked at the dirty ground a moment before looking his brother in the eyes. "Thanks."

"No big thing, baby brother." Merle smiled. "You know where to find me next time."

Daryl blinked and his brother was gone. He sighed, realizing that even though his brother might be gone he was still with him, still there within him for Daryl to borrow the strength from when he needed it. He glanced at the clock that seemed hushed now, despite the silence, and walked out of the room. He had a war to fight.

* * *

This story was inspired by Fall Out Boy's "The Phoenix". I tried to make it so that Merle would kill the misery in Daryl and allow him to go through some sort of re-birth so that he would have the strength to go and fight the war against The Governor. I don't know if it came across that way, I hope it did, but I'm still really upset by this that I can't really make a proper story. D:


End file.
